How to Wake Up a Heavy Sleeper (Without a Fight)

You've called their name, turned on the light and shaken a shoulder, and they're still asleep. Or they sat up, said "I'm awake," and went straight back under. Whether it's a partner, a teenager or a housemate, waking a heavy sleeper is a daily job in a lot of homes. This guide covers why some people are so hard to wake, how to wake up a heavy sleeper, and how to hand the job back to them.

The short answer: use light first, then your voice, and give them a few minutes for the grogginess to pass. Say their name. Don't shake them hard or shout, because people woken suddenly can be confused and irritable. For the long term, fix the cause, which is usually not enough sleep, and give them an alarm that's harder to sleep through, such as one they feel on their body.

Why are some people so hard to wake?

• Not enough sleep. This is a very common reason. A sleep-deprived brain holds on to sleep, and grogginess on waking is worse after sleep loss.
• Deep sleep. The first three hours of sleep have the deepest stages. Someone who went to bed late may still be in deep sleep when the alarm goes.
• Being a teenager. In puberty the body clock shifts later by about one or two hours, so at 7am a teenager's body thinks it's 5 or 6am.
• Alcohol or sleeping tablets, which make people harder to rouse.
• Hearing. Some people simply don't hear the alarm well, especially high-pitched tones.
• Being a natural heavy sleeper. Some people have always slept through storms.

How deeply can people sleep?

Research from Victoria University on smoke alarms shows how extreme it can be. In one study of children aged 6 to 15, only 6% woke on both nights to a standard hallway smoke alarm. Even with a much louder alarm, fewer than a third of the younger children woke reliably. The same research lists the risk factors for sleeping through an alarm: being a heavy sleeper, sleep deprivation, being a child, sleeping tablets, alcohol and hearing impairment (source).

It also found that a voice, including a mother saying the child's name, woke more children than a high-pitched beep.

How to wake up a heavy sleeper

1. Start with light. Open the curtains or turn on the light a few minutes before they need to get up. Better Health Channel's advice for teenagers is to expose the eyes to lots of light in the morning to help wake up the brain.
2. Use your voice, and their name. A calm, clear voice works better than a beep.
3. Give them a job. Ask a question that needs an answer, or have them sit up and put their feet on the floor. "I'm awake" doesn't count.
4. Allow for grogginess. The foggy period after waking, called sleep inertia, is strongest in the first 15 to 30 minutes. Don't expect conversation.
5. Come back in five minutes. One check is reasonable. Ten is a habit you don't want.
6. Add something pleasant. Music they like, or the smell of breakfast, gives them a reason to stay up.

What not to do

• Don't shake them hard or shout. People woken suddenly can have a confusional arousal: they seem awake but are disoriented and may be irritable. These episodes often start when someone else has to physically wake the person.
• Don't use cold water.
• Don't become their alarm clock. If you wake them every day, they never have to solve it themselves.

Fix the cause

A person who can't be woken is usually a person who hasn't slept enough.

• Earlier, regular bedtimes. See what time should I go to bed?
• The same wake-up time every day, including weekends. A noon sleep-in on Sunday makes Monday worse. See can you catch up on sleep?
• Morning light and evening dimness, especially for teenagers.
• Phones out of the bedroom at night.
• Less caffeine late in the day.

For teenagers in particular, see alarms for teenagers who sleep through everything.

Give them an alarm that works

The aim is for them to wake themselves. A heavy sleeper's alarm should:

• Last long enough to notice, not a single short beep.
• Escalate, getting stronger if they don't respond.
• Be hard to sleep through, which usually means more than sound. Vibration on the body works for many people who sleep through noise.
• Not punish the rest of the house. A blaring alarm that wakes everyone except the person it's for isn't a solution.

See do vibrating alarms work for heavy sleepers? and why can't I wake up to my alarm?

When it might be a health problem

See a GP if a person:

• sleeps long hours and is still very hard to wake, most days
• snores loudly, gasps or stops breathing in their sleep, which can be signs of sleep apnoea
• falls asleep during the day at school, at work or while driving
• is regularly confused or distressed on waking.

Most heavy sleepers just need more sleep, but these are worth checking. This guide is general information, not medical advice.

Safety note

A vibrating alarm clock is for waking up at a set time. It isn't a smoke alarm or an emergency alert. If someone in your home sleeps very deeply or has hearing loss, talk to your fire service about smoke alarms designed for them.

Where the Sovune Nudge fits

We make the Sovune Nudge, a vibrating alarm wristband, so we're not neutral. For a heavy sleeper in your house:

• Each alarm vibrates for a full minute, and they can switch it off sooner.
• Three intensity levels that build, starting as a tap and getting stronger.
• It's on their wrist, so it isn't across the room or buried under a pillow.
• Silent for everyone else, so their 6am alarm isn't yours.
• Three separate alarms, for a main alarm and backups.

It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, so they can test whether it wakes them.

Quick answers

What is the best way to wake up a heavy sleeper? Light first, then a calm voice using their name, then give them a few minutes for the grogginess to pass.

Why is my teenager so hard to wake up? Their body clock runs one to two hours later than an adult's, and most teenagers don't get enough sleep on school nights.

Is it bad to wake someone up suddenly? It's usually harmless, but it can leave them confused and irritable. A gradual wake-up is kinder and works better.

What alarm works for heavy sleepers? One that escalates, lasts long enough to notice, and uses vibration as well as or instead of sound.

For every type of silent alarm compared, see our complete guide to vibrating alarms in Australia.

See the Sovune Nudge →