Sleep Divorce: Should Couples Sleep in Separate Beds?

A "sleep divorce" sounds dramatic, but it just means a couple choosing to sleep in separate beds or rooms so they both sleep better. It's more common than people admit, and it isn't a sign that a relationship is in trouble. This guide covers what a sleep divorce is, the pros and cons, and what to try before you move to the spare room.

The short answer: sleeping apart can improve sleep for both partners, especially when snoring, different schedules or restless sleep are the problem. Before you separate, deal with the causes you can fix: get snoring checked, use separate doonas, and swap a loud alarm for a silent one. If you do sleep apart, talk about it openly and protect your time together.

What is a sleep divorce?

Monash University sleep researcher Alix Mellor describes it as couples choosing to sleep separately in pursuit of a better night's sleep (source). It can mean separate rooms, separate beds in the same room, or sleeping apart only on some nights, such as work nights.

How common is it?

We couldn't find a reliable Australian figure. In the US, a 2025 survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that nearly one-third (31%) of adults have opted for a sleep divorce, which included sleeping in another bed in the same room.

Why couples sleep apart

The most common reasons are:

• Snoring. The Sleep Health Foundation says about 40% of men have at least mild snoring.
• Different body clocks, such as a night owl with an early bird.
• Different schedules, especially with shift work.
• Restless sleep, such as twitching legs or sleep talking.
• Alarms. One person's 4:30am alarm wakes both.

Pros and cons of sleeping apart

	Sleeping apart	Sharing a bed
Sleep quality	Often better, with fewer disturbances	Studies that measure sleep often find it's poorer when sharing
Relationship	Better-rested partners may get along better	Closeness and routine
Intimacy	May mean fewer chances, so it needs planning	Easier by default
Practical	Needs a spare bed or room	No extra space needed

Mellor notes that sleep disturbances are linked to reduced relationship satisfaction, so better sleep can help a relationship. The main downside is fewer opportunities for intimacy. Her advice is to have an open discussion and to prioritise time for connection.

What to try before a sleep divorce

Many couples can fix the problem without separate rooms.

1. Get snoring checked. healthdirect says to see your doctor if snoring is bothering you or people in your household, or if you wake at night choking or gasping for air (source). Loud snoring can be a sign of sleep apnoea. Sleeping on your side and not drinking alcohol before bed can also help. See how to sleep next to someone who snores.
2. Use separate doonas. Sometimes called the Scandinavian sleep method, two single doonas on one bed stop the tug-of-war and suit couples who sleep at different temperatures.
3. Fix the alarm. If one of you gets up earlier, swap the ringtone for a silent alarm that only the wearer feels. See how to wake up without waking your partner.
4. Go to bed at different times. You don't have to match. See couples on different sleep schedules.
5. Try a bigger bed, or two mattresses side by side, to reduce movement.
6. Use earplugs for noise. A vibrating alarm still wakes you with them in.

How to make sleeping apart work

If you've tried the fixes and you're both still tired, sleeping apart is a reasonable choice.

• Decide together. Make it about sleep, not about each other.
• Start with work nights, and share a bed on weekends if you want to.
• Keep the rituals. Go to bed together to talk or read, then one of you moves.
• Make both rooms comfortable, so nobody is on the couch.
• Review it. Check in after a few weeks.

Where the Sovune Nudge fits

We make the Sovune Nudge, a silent alarm wristband, so we're not neutral. It won't fix snoring, but it does take alarms off the list:

• Silent. It's felt only by the person wearing it, so an early start doesn't wake the other person.
• It works with earplugs in, if you wear them because of a snoring partner.
• Escalating vibration for a full minute, through three intensity levels.
• Three separate alarms, and it's set on the band with no app.

It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Quick answers

What is a sleep divorce? It's when a couple chooses to sleep in separate beds or rooms so they both sleep better.

Is sleeping in separate beds bad for a relationship? Not necessarily. Better sleep can improve how couples get along. It works best when both partners agree and make time for connection.

How many couples sleep in separate beds? In a 2025 US survey, nearly one-third of adults said they had opted to sleep apart at least some of the time.

What can we try before sleeping apart? Get snoring checked, use separate doonas, switch to a silent alarm, and go to bed at different times.

For every type of silent alarm compared, see our complete guide to vibrating alarms in Australia.

See the Sovune Nudge →